we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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