that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
