so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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