This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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