Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
