I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
