I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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