That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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