yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Your dad touched me again.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
