So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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