Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
