Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
