Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
