i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i now understand why vodka
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
