im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
