So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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