you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
