The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
