the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
