My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize