I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize