ugly people sure do ruin things
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
