So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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