Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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