By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
