with your own penis?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize