As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
