Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
