If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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