Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
