I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
