I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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