I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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