your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
