We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize