She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
