Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So. Much. Porn.
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