names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
