Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
