I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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