How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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