i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
