so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
