My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
