dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
