The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
