i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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