tell your sister to shave her snatch
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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