then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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