eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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