So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
