Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
