We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
