She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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