absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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