Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
